Drifting

I felt my heartless chest swaying with the music that continuously danced with my aimless soul. It has only been six months but the changes happening in my life had overwhelmed the half of it. Universe, have you been really testing how much my heart can endure?

Could it feel like this forever?

My writing has become rusty for I can no longer reach the depths of my heart. Feeling lost in my own world, I cannot even use my intuition. God, help me.

Could I say it now without breaking down?

Am I really stronger now or I just really learned how to be numb?

Too many people seeking for my presence and yet I still sleep alone in my bed. Too many people were inspired by me and yet I still wonder if I will ever be seen. Too may people admire me with how my mind works, how I see the world, how I light up the room or how I make sense and yet the hollow deep seated longing in my heart still remains.

I concede.

I know I am free – unbounded by the status-quo, the man-made rules and yet I still sometimes go back to this cage just to feel human again. What am I scared of?

Now I can feel the heart beats in the palm of my hand. How long has it been?

I am finally throwing this stack of ornaments.